I spent years trying to prove I was worth staying for. I thought if I were loving enough, useful enough, patient enough, easy enough, and valuable enough, loyalty would become inevitable. What I finally learned was that I did not need another person to stay in order to prove I was lovable. I needed to stop leaving myself.

I used to think I wanted to be the most talented person in the room because I was competitive. The deeper truth was harder to admit: ordinary me didn’t always feel safe enough. Somewhere along the way, I learned to believe that if I could become useful enough, impressive enough, hardworking enough, creative enough, maybe I would become harder to leave. But love was never supposed to be a performance review. I am learning that I don’t have to become extraordinary to be worthy of ordinary love.